The Body-Mind Is Magnificent - Protectors In Complex Childhood Trauma

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The Body-Mind is magnificent.

At times, it is the only protector we have in childhood— and it is a warrior. It will protect us at all costs. It will split and create parts, like wolves who band together, intertwined by the sacred bonds of spirit. They will find ways through the darkest nights, they will circle those things we cannot bear, they will keep them from us, cornered— protecting us from what is intolerable.

They will give us unexplainable abilities to survive childhoods that seem impossible.

As children, we are defenseless; we are clinging to caregivers for protection. But what if they can't do it? What if they are the ones who hurt us? What if they aren't there at all?

My childhood was riddled with profound trauma. Yet, my body-mind kept them hidden from consciousness for years. My first hidden experiences came forward when I was twenty-seven. Recently, the enormity of my traumatic experiences emerged at forty-six years old.

My body-mind gave me access to the hallway of my life. It stretched far before me with smooth mint green walls interrupted by wooden doors, one after the other after the other. I reached out, pulling the bronze door knobs, opening it to slowly to witness what had been hidden for so long.

These forgotten experiences emerged first within my body through visceral, physical sensations. Then vague images bubbled up through what felt like a thick, black bath of oil, slowly becoming visible. Eventually, the images created a whole memory.

These experiences were unbearable to hold as a child. Developmentally, I was unable to comprehend what had occurred. This is when my band of wolves arrived. They circled what I could never have managed and forced them into these rooms designed solely to keep me safe.

This process allowed me to survive. The wolves within my body-mind guarded my youth, allowing me to remain a child. I could play, laugh, and engage.

If my wolves of protection hadn't come forward, I would have been annihilated..

While the body-mind does its absolute best to protect us, it is impossible to erase our trauma from our bodies. No matter what, these memories will remain active within our physical bodies. The body-mind has its limits.

In order to heal, even if we do not have the memories in our conscious minds, we need to work with the body. Many women have energetically cut their minds off from their bodies. The body became unsafe; it is what holds the pain. Unconsciously cutting the connection off is a method of protection.

It is impossible to fully heal without this connection. It can take time to cross this unconscious barrier, but it is available to all of us.

There are many avenues to meet the body to support your healing from complex trauma. A few methods are eye movement desensitization, internal family systems, life centered therapy, and yoga therapy

If you have resonated with this entry, I invite you to follow my blog as I continue to share my journey, my professional knowledge, and wisdom.

All Good Things.

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Sarah Dionne is a psychotherapist, supervisor, and spiritual guide in MA. She is currently in Seminary at the Tree Of Life Interfaith Temple.

Sarah embodies love and compassion as a mother, partner, friend, and professional. Learn more about Sarah at Dionne-assoc.com