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  • Sarah Dionne, MSW, LICSW

More Money... Here's How.

Updated: May 13, 2019


What is your relationship with money? Do you like it? Do you enjoy checking your bank account? Do you enjoy getting a paycheck? Do you like what it says? Does money make you annoyed, frustrated or angry? Does it give you a sudden adrenaline rush if there’s a possibility for more?


What would you do with a LOT more? How would you spend it? Put it to use? How would you view yourself as a “wealthy” or “rich” person? Would you be different somehow? Would you feel worthy of millions in your bank accounts?



How would you feel standing next to a millionaire or billionaire? Really… be honest, there is no need for dishonesty here. It’s easy to jump to a defensive thought, I’d be fine, they’re no better than me. Really? So if you saw Mark Zuckerberg or Oprah Winfrey you would have no sense of intimidation? What about the wealthiest actors, like Tom Cruise, Jerry Seinfeld, or Johnny Depp? Would you not bat an eye at their wealth and fame if they bumped into you on the streets of Manhattan, or if they said excuse me as they brushed past you in Starbucks? Why would you feel intimidated or starstruck? Why do large sums of money cause us to believe that one person is “worth” more than the other?


It would be easy to say here, I don’t think like that, everyone’s the same. If that’s the truth and you fully believe that, than it seems you may be in a beautifully centered space of self worth and confidence. Yet, if you do feel intimidated, it is also beautiful to openly admit this to the self. If you’re able to do that, than you’re on your way to freedom.

Our views of money can be correlated with our self worth. Most people are in a state of acceptance, the money that comes in from a meager living is what’s available and that becomes okay. Yet, to identify this as acceptable means is to identify the self as not worth appropriate reciprocity.


Reciprocity is an equal exchange of anything; love, joy, time, gift giving, financial compensation. Is a person’s time worth eleven dollars and hour? Think of it this way. Working is selling our time, time that we can never get back in this life. Working is selling our skills, our personality, our shear presence… is all of that worth eleven dollars an hour? Thirty dollars an hour? A hundred... a thousand.. How much? Or course there is the element of joy a career can provide. This is also engaging in reciprocity. That is, we may feel that the joy we receive is compensation enough and have no need for anything more. To experience such fulfillment is remarkable, yet, this article deals with financial rewards, which is a valid concern for so many of us.



If you experience a resentment towards your employment or money in general I would suggest that, no, you do not believe you’re experiencing reciprocity. If a person continues in this state chronically, years of lack and resentment, it’s a recipe for depression and anxiety.


Your question may be, Well, okay, what should I do about it? The answer is NOT looking for ways to earn more money. The reaction I often here is, What? That makes no sense! Wait, hold on… take a breath. The answer is not to look for ways to earn more money… YET. Not yet. If you desire true, lasting financial wealth as well as joy and contentment, the there is only one place to start… yourself.



The answer lies within self-worth. Without self-worth any extra money procured will be useless, in fact, you probably won’t be able to hold on to it very long. How many lottery winners have we heard of who receive millions yet declare bankruptcy a few years later. Why? The answer is simple; no amount of money can give you worth. Without self-worth there will be a constant drive to use money (or whatever else is available) as a means to feel whole. Many of my previous articles deal with this very issue.


If you desire wealth that is lasting AND satisfying you first have to BELIEVE in your worth.

Of course it’s easy to tout, of course my time is worth millions an hour. I will politely disagree that you believe this. If you did, you’d be earning millions an hour because you simply wouldn’t be settling for less. Rather than jumping to lofty declarations that are abounding from resentment and frustration, first we must get honest. Answer the following questions:


What do I believe about Money?

How do I feel about Money (this is a different question - what is the feeling that arises when you think about money)?

What do I believe about people that have lots of money?

What do I believe about people who have very little money?

How do I feel when I’m around someone who is very wealthy (again, what is the feeling that arises when you are in the presence of the individual)?


Take time to think about this information. Ponder it. Write about it. Explore it with vivacious honesty. The article to come will guide continue to offer guidance you along your way.


But first, get honest and take a step toward freedom.



Sarah is a psychotherapist and life coach. She specializes in anxiety, body image, eating disorders, and trauma. If you're interested in working with Sarah, contact her for a free consultation.

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